Per suggestions of a close friend, I recently fell into a rabbit hole of stand up comedy acts, on Netflix. I initially wanted to make this a post in my “Divorced but Never Married” series–but in speaking with this friend, I realized I am utterly over drudging on the past transgressions which my ex-fiance inflicted on me.
In Chris Rock’s latest stand up, titled Tambourine, he speaks of cheating on his wife and goes into a rant in regards to how to properly maintain a relationship:
“Love hard or get the fuck out.”
And, I did just that.
I couldn’t love my ex anymore. He was NOT the man I initially fell in love with. And yes, looking back, I do believe he was the only man I ever truly loved. But he never actually loved hard.
I loved beyond my means in that relationship, and in doing so, I lost myself.
You’ve heard the age old saying, in regards to the nuclear family: “We stayed together for the kids.” Well, in the separation I understood that I had no claim on his kids–especially if i wasn’t doing something to make his life easier, in the process.
So here is to recovery. Here is to loving HARD! Please, just do it.
You got somebody you love: hold tight. Hold f’n tight. Commit…
Love hard or get the fuck out…
If you’re in a relationship, all you should be doing is fucking and going places. That’s all you should be doing: Having sex and traveling; You should be coming and going.
OK? People say, “Relationships are tough”
NO they aren’t! They are only tough when one person is working on it. That’s right. Two people can move a couch real easy.
One person can’t move it at all.
I have moved couches by myself. I dug post holes to surround a boy scout camp, when I was only eight years old.
Yes, I could have stayed. I could have played housewife and put up with the animosity which consumed my heart. But I didn’t–I got the fuck out.