Divorced but Never Married: Part 2

im-not-the-same-woman-i-used-to-be-am-18754305

In a previous post, titled “Refusing to Date”, I stated that “you cannot love someone unless you know and love yourself.”

When I left my ex of seven years, I was left with misappropriated sorrow in my heart. It has taken eight months for me to fully absorb this conundrum.

Today I know, that I indeed love myself. I love who I am. I love the kindness in my heart and the strength of my character. But it doesn’t erase the months, upon months of crying which kept me from moving forward.

I had told him we both needed time apart, time to grow and to consider our own character.

I lied.

It wasn’t me.

It wasn’t me that punched holes in the walls.

It wasn’t me that spat in his face.

It wasn’t me that tried to move on, only a month after seperating.

But today, I hate with much less anxiety in my heart. I hate that I used to hate him. I hate that he gave me three beautiful step-children to care for, but didn’t take the time to care for me. I will NEVER regret being the greatest mom I could be and a better wife than he deserved.

I am the widow of a living man.

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: